America Turns 250, and the Risk Meter Is Still Working

This weekend, America turns 250 years old and that means that everyone will be celebrating in the most American of ways. We are all for the traditional celebrations, but let’s face it, it’s hard to turn the internal risk meter completely off. So in light of that, let’s talk about some of the risks that some of us might have to manage while we celebrate our nation.

(Cue Star-Spangled Banner and God Bless America on repeat…)

Now that I think about it, what could possibly go wrong?

Just because someone in your neighborhood is going to pull their grill out of the garage for the first time since 2015, that doesn’t mean that there will be a problem there. I mean, they’ll likely use that lighter fluid that’s been sitting in the 10-year-old bag of charcoal. How bad could it be if half of the bottle leaked into that charcoal that they set in the grill, figuring that the bag will make it easier to start. It’ll be even more fun if they decide to light it up under the shade of the eaves.

Some of you are going to gather down at the lake and spend some time out on the water. The cool breeze, the calming hum of the twin outboard motors, and the delighted squeals from water-skiers, tube riders, and the person who was holding the line when Uncle Roy “accidentally” gunned the engines when the line went loose. I’m sure that wasn’t the sound of a shoulder being dislocated, or someone wondering if that tube was going to stop flying and find its way back to the water.

Of course, many of us live in patriotic states where you can buy fireworks from someone who rented a circus tent, pitched it in a parking lot, and is offering buy two, get 12 free on roman candles this weekend only. Who wants to go to a public park, or down by the lake, to watch a professional fireworks display that has been designed by someone with training and insurance, when you can go out in the back yard and watch the neighborhood kids aim roman candles at each other, waving sparklers like they’re lightsabers, and playing a rousing game of chicken with explosives?

Now that I think about it, this might just be a risky weekend. I hope you play it as safe as you can while keeping it 250 years’ worth of fun. Stay safe out there and review your insurance policies before the fuse is lit.